For Immediate Release
(February 5, 2015, St. Louis, MO) Handling anger in a non-confrontational manner is one of the most important skill that a human being must learn in order to live a peaceful and a successful life. Of equal importance is learning how to cope with other peoples’ anger.
If you feel like someone did you wrong and you want that person to correct it, instead of screaming at that person, appeal to his sense of morality and sense of sympathy. You can do this by showing him that what he did caused you pain, suffering, grief, damages, etc.
Then, give him time to think just so he feels that he is free to make his decision instead of being pressured into it.
Observe, listen, watch his reaction to what you are saying. If you see him getting annoyed, stop and withdraw. This means he needs time to think.
This action shows that you are more emotionally matured than this person. It shows strength and maturity.
Sometimes too, other people seem very angry not even because of what you said or did, it is just that they have a lot of problems that they too have to deal with. This means that you should not always act reflexively on somebody’s anger.
Always try to put yourself in another person’s position. Do not put the other person in a position where he loses his face. Negotiation, diplomacy, and compromise are more effective than intimidation.
Most importantly if the anger that you feel is towards a family member, keep in mind, that family members must try to resolve their anger without holding a grudge. Otherwise, the family will be split.
The more the family members stick together, the happier they are.
In addition, expect children, especially teenagers to try to break the rules. This is how they learn how to be independent. They will make mistakes, the same way that they fell several times before they learned how to walk.
Let them know that you are there to help them, watching out for them, and coaching them instead of their mistakes.
If the conflict is between husband and wife, nobody has the right to hurt the other either emotionally or intentionally. Only a very weak, immature person does this.
“Use non-confrontational anger instead of destructive anger,” concludes Dr. Lord.
For further information, on how to handle anger, read Dr. Lord’s Excellence Education: Stress, Anger Management, Self-Esteem Development and Ethical Decision Making, that is available at www.drudislord.com, Barnes and Noble and Amazon.Com.
Dr. Lord is available as a motivational speaker and for media interview.